1.  David knows the way.  He won’t tell it to you, but he says he knows where the ride is headed.

2.  The ride is guaranteed to be flat, at least until we leave the parking lot.  After that, all bets are off, and putting your money at the bottom of the first hill would be a wise bet (and lighten your load – every ounce counts).

3.  All rides average 16 MPH for a couple of hours (see fine print below). 

4.  Rides generally don’t go more than 35 miles (Monday through Friday – weekend rides are doomed to be longer than that because what else do you have to do?)

5.  There are no weekday rides.  Suck it up – that’s why we put in the extra miles on the weekend!

6.  The ride leader (officially David, because no one else craves that responsibility like he does) should remain in front at all times.  Any challengers to this rule will be dragged on a 28+ MPH romp to the top of the next hill to prove the point.

7.  Only one fusser per ride, and since Bruce is there most days, you might as well stay home.

8.  No whining.  Well, okay, you can whine, but whine in tune with the rest of the group.  No one likes an out-of-tune whiner.

9.  Prepare for plenty of (verbal) support.  If you flat, we’ll help talk you through the repair – even provide step-by-step critiques and optional solutions.  If you crash, we’ll give play-by-play recaps of the entire event.  And at the next ride, we’ll be sure to recap the entire event for everyone else, for educational purposes of course.

The Fine Print:  Ha!  We call it a dragging, not a ride.  David “rides”, we suck wheel and try to box him in to keep things under 20 MPH most of the time.  It’s mildly effective, but we show up weekend after weekend attempting to perfect the technique.